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” I tried to explain to her.“Then what are you trying to say, that I should be your little wifie poo, and we go back to that cottage in nowhere’s ville. Raise 3 kids and go to the PTA.”, She screamed at me.“No No No No you got it all wrong, I don’t want to go back, our future is out here.”, I said, as I tried to reason with her.She had a head of steam built up and let it loose on me, ranting and raving, say all kinds of bad things about me and us. How I was a lousy lover, and never really did satisfied her, she faked everything. Finally she said“I see now that my future is not your future, you have no faith in me as an actress, you have been here a month and you think you’re an expert. I want you out of here, I don’t want to see you anymore. You can come get your stuff when I am not here.”, She cried at as she ran up the stairs and slammed the bedroom door shut.I sat there stunned, not knowing what to do, so I just sat there waiting for her to come back down the stairs. I could. Natasha's car was inthe garage, so I knew she was here. I went to her bedroom. The door wasclosed and there was no light leaking around the edges. I knocked, butthere was no answer. I didn't want to barge in, not now. "Honey, Natasha,it wasn't me. We've got to talk." My pleas were met with silence.I made my way to my room. Tomorrow was Saturday. I'd talk to her firstthing. We'd get this straightened out. I took a shower and slipped intomy yellow satin pajamas. I lay in bed, thinking, my mind a confusion ofthoughts that chased me across landscapes I feared to tread. This was ourfirst fight. I didn't know how Natasha handled these sorts of things.Would she stay angry? Could I even get her to listen to me? Could I everheal the hurt I'd done her, even though I hadn't been the cause? I tossedand turned. I tried meditating but my mind refused to settle. What if Ilost her? She was the most important thing in my life. I was desperatelyin love with her. I'd do anything to make things better..
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