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Over the holidays, I kept going to therapy and my initial reaction wasthat, yes I did feel like I was a woman trapped in a man's body; but Iwanted to stop feeling that way. I didn't want to hurt Jessica and Ithought I could put up with how I felt about myself for her sake. Dr.Anderson told me she would respect my decision and try to help me overcomemy feelings; but I could tell that she thought that was the wrongdecision.When Jessica came back from the holiday break, I pretended like I was allbetter and my episode was over. I played the part of the boyfriend. Iwas miserable inside. I was not attracted to Jessica sexually at all. Iloved her as a friend and that was all. I knew I should tell her but Ijust couldn't bring myself to do it; so I thought that with therapy Icould overcome my feelings. I didn't. The feelings became overwhelmingand my relationship with Jessica took the brunt of my misery. We fought alot and I just couldn't get myself to sleep with her anymore. It. Want to come to my place for a drink?"Carol sniggered.The next scenes at his place went quickly and they started kissing. Then, they moved to the bedroom and undressed each other. I could feel Carol breathe and move with some excitement, so I put my hand on her breast strumming the nipple. The dialogue on the video moved to the bed and he pulled her to him. He said in a gruff voice, "Have you been a bad girl today."She paused, and then said softly, "Not real real bad." He slapped her butt. Carol's breath became kind of ragged.The actors went on for another minute, and he said, "I'm going to turn you over my knee and do that right."The actress did not resist and we saw her nicely shaped butt as she lay across his lap. He then spanked her about ten times and was obviously turning her on. As she writhed on his lap, she turned around and smiled at him, "Is a spanking all I get? I'm a bad girl."By this time, my fingers were pinching Carol's nipples and she was moving quickly toward her.
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