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And he couldn't wait to see what Silas had made for their homecoming dinner. Well, his homecoming dinner. "Okay, Nick, I won't argue with you and try to talk you out of it. I'll tell everyone back home you had to find yourself. I won't tell them you have rabies and will be foaming at the mouth like last week when Jarrod, at the dinner table busted your balls about you having to geld that $2,000.00 stallion because he threw you, busted your goober and embarrassed you in front of the entire bunkhouse." Give me your word, smart ass, I mean bastard, I mean Heath." You got it, 1/2."------------The End------------This spoof is most respectively dedicated to what I heartily believe is the finest episode in "The Big Valley" ABC network run 1965-1969: "Night of the Wolf."Nick Barkley is bitten by a rabid wolf and does leave home and hearth to suffer and die alone as all people died in that circa when rabies was incurable.Toward the end of the episode Jarrod Barkley implores his brother Heath. The third floor sign reads:Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.‘Wow, ‘ she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.‘Oh, mercy me!’ she exclaims, ‘I can hardly stand it!’Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.PLEASE NOTE:To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a ‘New Wives Store’ just across the street.The First Floor has wives that love sex.The Second Floor has wives that love sex,.
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