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” “What’s left?” “I guess I like kitty best. How about you?” “Kitty is nice,” I said. “Nobody says vagina except in biology or health class. Most girls refer to it as a pussy. Pussy is okay, too.” “I like kitty and pussy. How about love flower? I’ve heard that one.” She thought for a moment. “I guess, but kitty and pussy are better.” “I love your pussy.” “I know. What do you want me to call you?” “Anything you want.” “Penis is a horrible word. I don’t really like dick, but I say it. You do, too. Johnson is stupid. Who was Johnson anyway? Some guy hung like a race horse?” I laughed. “I’ve never met Johnson.” “I like cock best. Girls should call a man’s thing his cock. I like asking you if I should suck your cock. Do you like that?” “I like you to say it and to suck it.” She hit me again. “Your cock is very nice. I like to look at it. I love to touch it and suck it.” Roni talking about my dick had given me a raging hard-on. “Can we go park somewhere so I can show you my cock?” “Yes, we. Coincidence? I think not."H. L. Mencken"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"George Bernard Shaw"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."Benjamin Franklin"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."Dave BarryBeer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B.C.!W. C. FieldsRemember "I" before "E," except in Budweiser.Professor Irwin CoreyTo some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!Leo DurocherOne night at Cheers (TV Sitcom), Cliff Clavin said to his buddy, Norm Peterson:"Well, ya see, Norm, it's like this...A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are.
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