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“I know, Honey. I can’t either.” I admitted.“I need to know where this is going. I will not be able to stop wondering when you will come to my room or ask me to join you. I thought about this all day. We either need to stop completely right now, or you need to let me know exactly what you expect from me. I want you to be happy, but I can’t just be on call whenever you feel you need me, not after last night. I won’t be able to stay in this house if I have to be near you and always wonder if you will want to be with me like that again. I’m afraid to even kiss your cheek because of what I may do.”John was right. I manipulated and used him to fill that empty spot in my life with little regard for the consequences. How could I have been so naive as to have thought that I would only have phone sex with John when I wanted to or believe that I could call him into my room or go to his room only when I was in the mood? We have been very physical with each other. Each time I allowed myself to go. If anybody finds out it won't be from us."His siblings nodded in agreement and I actually found myself believing them but added "I hope so. Lives could be ruined if you can't."We decided to give them the tour before they left and I felt like kicking myself when I saw that I had neglected to close the door to the computer room. I saw Dina look in there but oddly enough she didn't ask any questions. I figured that not having seen one before she didn't realize what it was.We got the usual "you guys must be rich" thing but tried to play it down as much as possible. When we got to the shrine all three stopped and stared wide-eyed at it and I was expecting a question as to what it was. Instead of questions, we got smiles from David and Dan. They told us that they believed in the old gods as well, and were glad they weren't alone. They hadn't met anyone until now who believed as they did.I thought it was going as well as I could have hoped. At least until Dina fainted. I wasn't sure what to.
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