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Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.SIMPLE TRUTH #2When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and say, "Congrats".But, none of them come and touch the man's penis and say, "Good job".Moral of the story: "Hard work is never appreciated."the Five Rules to Remember in Life1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the ass-hole's name.3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.AND A BONUS RULE:6. Condoms do not guarantee safe sex;A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband!This one is compliments of johnRamblings of a Retired MindI found this timely, because today I was in a store that sells sunglasses, and only sunglasses. A young lady. When we were done I washed the dishes and told her to go get dressed. I suppose I should tell you about how Serenity came to be. I married her mother 11 years ago and a year later she had Serenity. We got a divorce because I found out that she was addicted to crack and was screwing her dealer to get more. At the court hearing the judge told us that our daughter has to live with me. We got the divorce and I haven’t seen her since. I also had a DNA test done to make sure she was my child and she is. I also thought it would be a good idea to home school her and she's doing fantastic. Now back to the story. Serenity came out of her room wearing a blue tee-shirt and a white skirt that ended at her knees. I couldn’t help but think that it looked alot like a school girl outfit. She walked over and sat in my lap at the table. I already had all her work out for home schooling. Like always I let her sit in my lap so I could watch her do it and make sure she did it right. Today she was moving.
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