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Navy. Funeral Services 3 p.m. Monday, at the St.James Cathedral, 55 East Huron Street, Chicago IL. Burial private. Tears were streaming down my face as it slowly sunk in. My father and Ihad never been close, and my thoughts turned more towards my mother,widowed and facing the rest of her life alone. She was fortunate inthat my two brothers and their families resided in the Chicago area.With chagrin I realized that Matthew McCoy was a sad footnote to ourfamily's history...at least my father's death notice didn't mention thathis youngest son was wanted for embezzlement and murder before he fledthe country and committed suicide disguised as a woman!Suddenly I was overwhelmed by the need to be there with them.Impulsively I logged onto on online travel site and searched for flightsto Chicago, before I stopped myself. Returning to the United Stateswould expose my bogus passport to the scrutiny of US immigrationofficials, and there was a good chance that it would be flagged as. " Very well," Dad said. He patted me on the back, "Brian, don't do anything I wouldn't do," Yes, sir," I said, and escaped into the car with Cindy. The Ford Fairlane was an old style car-- and therefore had bench seats instead of bucket seats like my parent's cars."Seat belt, condom boy," she said. "Mandatory here now, and my Mom will kill me if we die in a crash. Her words exactly." Okay," I said, pulling it on. " You don't have to call me that, you know." I'm going to keep calling you that until you tell me why you need so many condoms." The usual reason," I said. "Stand-up comedy." I'm serious, I want to know." She said."It's not for me to say." I plan on using my feminine wiles on you to find out." If you want, you can be the reason I need so many condoms," I said waggling my eyebrows outrageously. "Ever think of that?" Yes, and it ain't happening until you tell me your secret, Condom Boy. See. Feminine wiles." I guess 'Condom Boy' it is. What's for dinner, and what movie?" Have.
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