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I'm afraid to ask what it is, but I have to know." Mom, there's only one way to put this; we are in love with each other and want to spend the rest of our lives together."Before she could burst into tears or start yelling at me. I tried to explain."Mom; before you say anything I have something that I want to tell you; something that you're going to find impossible to believe." Ok, you have my full attention." Mom, do you remember the morning when I was in ninth grade and I fainted in the bathroom while I was getting ready for school?" Yes, I remember, go on." The reason I fainted was because up until that morning I was an old man, lying in a hospital bed in the year 2012. In fact I wasn't just any old man, I was Jack. We had all screwed up our lives so much that at that point, I was dying of heart failure after living a life of drugs, Anne was a drunk, living in a trailer park and you and Dad were already dead. I asked God for another chance to make things right, and when I died, I. ’“Oh, dear Jesus, Bill, why don’t you go outside and shake yourself,” my mother exclaimed in mock horror. Needless to say, my two pals almost pissed themselves at mom’s ‘outburst,’ and my dad’s impish embarrassment.By the time I had finished college, my dad had retired. Formally, my father had been a formidable barrister and my mother a fervid socialite. My dad’s rapier-sharp wit and my mother’s equally quick-witted retorts were a great inspiration to me when I was growing up, and stood me in good stead when I finally graduated and became a columnist for several publications.What I particularly loved about my work was that I was not office bound. Thank fuck for the internet!By my mid-teens, my parents were aware that I was gay. This did not really trouble them at all, but my mother from time to time would feign disappointment at the fact that she would never have grandchildren. On one such occasion, as she bemoaned this matter, my father mischievously taunted her by saying, “How the.
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