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Or incidents and this was part of the debriefing process I guess you could say. Working towards coping with it. I take in a breath and slowly exhale, “Okay, Doctor ... I’ll do my best...” I reply to her, feeling nervous about it all together. This will be the first time I truly discuss it. “Just breathe, close your eyes and think back. Then tell me what you see.” She nods on for me to do so.I lean back closing my eyes as instructed, focusing on breathing and slowly remembering back to the beginning. Flashes keep coming to light but I ignore them as I begin to feel my eyes twitching behind my lids. Trying to focus and make my way to the beginning ... There! “There I was standing, innocently minding my own business getting fuel at a gas station. I vaguely remember an SUV pulling up behind me at the pump, an older man getting out of the vehicle and walk towards me ... It gets foggy from there and I kind of recall being shuffled into a backseat and being dizzy ... or groggy, I can’t. I had trouble falling asleep again for the third night in a row, so decided to pleasure myself to drain tensions. It didn’t help this time, and I ended up getting only a couple hours of sleep. At daybreak, I quietly headed to the bathroom to shower. Along the way, as I passed his room, I glanced in to see what he was up to. He was awake this time, playing with himself. On the way back to my room after showering, I made a point of walking with heavier footsteps to warn him that I would be passing by, but he was expecting me. He stared right at me, grinning when I reached the doorway.“Come in,” he said in a quiet voice. “Pull up a chair.” He pointed to the chair with one hand.I entered, carried the chair toward his bed and sat down. I kept my legs together to avoid showing him how wet I was, and tugged on my nightgown to pull it down at least to my knees. My heart raced. The last time I had sex with someone was nearly three years ago.“Could you sit a little closer?” he asked.“I can.
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