I think you either feel it or you don’t, but either way isn’t wrong or better than the other. It’s just the way we are as individuals.”I shook my head in wonderment. “I still don’t get it. Are you saying you want me to have sex with Jack?”Rob replied, “No, I’m not saying I want that, but if you wanted it, I would be happy for you. As I mentioned at the beginning, there would have to be certain conditions because I am human and not immune to feeling jealous or other negative feelings. If those conditions were met, I’m positive I would feel more happiness than any other emotion.”Even after all we had covered in our discussion up to this point, I had no thought in my head of actually having sex with anyone other than my Rob, yet his last reply prompted my next question.“So what would the conditions be?”Rob asked with a smile, “Does that mean you’re thinking of going all the way with Jack?”“No, - God no! I’m just curious about your list of conditions.”“Okay,” Rob replied, “The most. Ipulled the little magnetic memo pad off the fridge, uncapped theattached pen, and started writing without thinking about it:"Don't worry, I'm in control now."I hadn't meant to write that. I hadn't meant to write that, what did itmean? My hand continued, undaunted, in a script that suddenly was notmy own:"I said stop panicking. I'm handling everything."I tried to talk but I couldn't. I only formed the thought, "who areyou?"And my voice answered. Not my voice. A feminine version of my voice.Out of my mouth. "I guess you could call me Allegra."And then my microwave let out its familiar electronic beep and I got upand took out my food. I didn't talk as I ate. I wasn't sure if it wasme willing my hands to bring food into my mouth or if it was thisAllegra, whoever she was.I finished and went back to the attic. I took out the summaries thatI'd written in my most hyper-intelligent state."Okay, now I get it." The words came out of my mouth, but I definitelydidn't agree with.
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