"No, I cut off your penis." Noooo!" I bawled, shaking my chains violently.I screamed, shouted, ranted and then bawled my eyes out. Dr Randolph waited patiently until I was all cried out."Basically, when the swelling has gone, all you'll have is a nice, neat hole to pee from," Dr Randolph explained. "I'm rather proud of the job I did. I could have been a top plastic surgeon but you can probably understand that rich white bitches wouldn't be too keen on someone like me cutting them up. Anyway, to cut a long story short, you'll never pee standing up again, and you'll have to wipe yourself dry with tissue afterwards. Because your urethra is so much shorter you'll have to learn to wipe front to back to avoid infections. You'll never have another erection, because there's nothing to become erect, so you'll never again have penetrative sex with a woman. Unless you use strap-ons of course. Denise was sad your penis had to go, she said you were one of the best she's ever had, but the boys. A little later, in the PM’s private office I told Sylvia Tenant about the incident with the vile Ms Loftus. I knew from her ineffable calm that she was furious. She picked up the phone on her desk and pressed a button.“Get me on the Colin Shore programme this evening.” Colin Shore was one of the BBC’s most aggressive interviewers. “Yes, exclusive and tell him he can ask me anything he wants.”I watched the programme alone in my office later that evening. It was all pretty straightforward until he raised Libby’s appointment.“I understand, Prime Minister, that Libby Manning is in a relationship with a senior member of your staff, your Deputy Chief of Staff in fact.”Tenant made no reply and I knew she’d prepared for this. She waited. Shore waited but if either was going to win the stare off it wasn’t him.“Prime Minister?”“I was rather hoping you might ask me a question, Colin.”“Is it true?”“It it, yes.”“So was it appropriate for her to be appointed to lead your flagship.
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