”My jaw dropped.“Do you remember when we were driving by the clubhouse and she flagged us down? She was flustered, and kept looking at you funny?”I did remember!“She knew we were having sex.”I began to panic. If Mom knew that Susan and I were having sex, would she put a stop to things?! Would she tell my father?! My mind was ablaze with possibilities, most of them unpleasant.“It’s okay, Paul. She was actually kind of thankful it was me and not someone else. She trusts me. She still does trust me. And,” she paused to make sure I was paying attention, “it excited her.”I raised my eyebrows in disbelief.Susan nodded. “Uh-huh.” She let that sink in for a few moments. “What she wanted to talk about yesterday was how she felt about things. She wanted my advice. She told me she’d been thinking about you ... thinking about you sexually. That’s when she told me about fondling you in the lake.“She wanted someone to tell her she wasn’t a bad mother. I told her that I’d had fantasies about Kirk. I'd been lucky, I realized. I'd invited a complete stranger into my house to engage in an illegal activity, while I was too drunk to do much to protect my stuff or defend myself. I was lucky in who actually showed up. Incredibly lucky.I got some coffee and a bowl of cereal and sat down at the table. I picked up Sherri's card and read it again. I was surprised. She'd written down the rates for "social evening" and they were a third of what a "full" hour cost. In fact, they weren't too much higher than what shrinks cost, if I could believe what Sharon had told me she was paying. I idly wondered what her shrink had said about me.I didn't wonder long. I didn't want to get into another self-pity party like I had over Alicia. It still hurt, but it only hurt when I thought about it. So I avoided thinking about it.I spent the afternoon reading old favorite novels on the couch and internet porn on the computer. I toyed with going in to work but figured that I couldn't explain why my recovery.
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