I feel the eyes of a few scattered patrons swivel towards me, and I suffer a moment's ridiculous panic like somehow the alarm bells are announcing what I just did downstairs to the room. I look down and see the book clutched in my fist. When I turn back, I see there is a security guard headed over to intercept me and investigate what it is I'm trying to steal.I walk back in and step casually up to the checkout area and set the book down on the counter. I reach into my bag, fumbling for my library card. I do not make eye contact. The cover proclaims the contents of the book to be EROTICA by Anais Nin in bold letters. The woman swipes the barcode on the spine, and her terminal lets out an angry chirp. By this time, the security guard has come to stand beside me, and I feel my face flame. The librarian tells me that this volume is reference only and does not leave the library, then asks “Just where did you think you were taking it?” Her tone sounds accusatory to my guilty ears. I raise. " I glanced again and saw the news make her brighten again. She really was cute, I thought."Hey Paul," I croaked in my imitation of an old man. "You got any money for gas?" Yeah," he said, handing over two dollars. Elbowing Tom, he added, "Next time it's your turn, douchebag." Hey, watch your language!" Tina yelled. "I'll tell Auntie Jean what a foul mouthed little fucker you are!" We all laughed and I again felt my face go warm. Most girls I knew didn't talk that way back then. Tina was an unknown country to me.We made our gas stop and then stopped at Tom's brother's trailer. Tina wanted to know what we were doing, but Paul told her it was none of her business. I had parked facing away from the door, and we could only hear Tom and his brother open, and then close the trunk. The brother always loaned us a small cooler when he got us beer. We always carried it in the trunk just in case we got stopped.There were already quite a few kids at the lake. Somebody had built and anchored a.
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