He turned me round so I could see myself in the full length mirror on thedoor of Suzy's cupboard. I gasped when I looked at the young womanreflected back at me. I was stunning, so over the top sexy that any guywould get hard looking at me. My makeup was gorgeous, radiating sexiness,smoky eyes in blues and greys with long painted wings at the edge of eacheye, thick eyelashes that batted in a sexy way when I blinked my eyes. Mycheek bones stood out, highlighted in the makeup and my lips were brightred and glossy, already glistening and perfect for kissing.I looked every inch the high class femme fatale, albeit dressed as aschool-girl. I couldn't believe it was me, let alone a guy made up anddressed up to capture the eyes and hearts of any guy who lays eyes on him."What do you think?" Leo asked me, standing back smugly and admiring hishandiwork"I don't know what to say," I said in a tremulous voice. "I cant believewhat you've done to me." I like your voice like that, he said, keep it. She is kissing me here. Tongue to shoulder blade, her hips against my backside, pressing me against the wood. Fingers quick and smooth, across my belly, so warm. I turn on the faucet, the water rushing from the tap, so urgent, so desperate, it feels so cold. My feet are so cold, the tile biting my toes, my only sensitivity, my extremities. In the dark I can see her, she is looking at me, she has come to me, she has come back. As I place my glasses to my head, it all becomes so desperately clear. A mirror image, it is my own face, my own sunken eye sockets, my cheekbones pointed and noticed. I have become so thin. What would she think of me, this shell I have become. Where is my shirt? My breasts almost nothing, flaps of skin against shiny ribs. Subsisting on coffee, cigarettes, an occasional carrot stick. I don’t want to eat, such an empty table. A place setting for one, the chair across from me stagnant. Is that really me? The self, the coil, the me. I am sickening. The steam is.
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