"There was nothing hurtful about it at all!" She frowned. "I've a mind that it's kind of like what happens to you, except that I don't squirt anything. I get all wet, but nothing squirts."She blushed, suddenly aware of how personal the thing was they were talking about. But after doing what they'd done, she decided that just talking wasn't so bad at all, and she relaxed."So does that mean you want to do it again?" he asked hopefully.She looked down, a bit shy for some reason. "Uh huh," she said."Good!" he said. "Me too! You want to do it right now?" Now?" she asked weakly. "In the daylight and all?" We can't keep getting up and going to the outhouse that doesn't exist every night. Mamma will know something is going on." It just feels weird to think about taking off my clothes in the daylight," she said."Just think of it like we're taking a bath, except without the water," he suggested."That's stupid," she said."Let's not fight," he came back. "I want to rub again, and I want to watch. "But wha' is i' like, at the Academy?"Jer shrugged and pulled her closer once again. "I've nothing to compare it with. We spend our lives learning to use our minds and bodies in service to the Emperor. We study and train and study some more." Tha' sounds terrible." Her hand stoked his shoulder.He brought his hand up to stroke her neck, and then her cheek. "In many ways, it is terrible. I feel that I've no control over my life while I'm there. That's why I'm here now. When I'm breaking the rules, I know that I'm doing something for myself, something free of control." But wha' o' the price?" she asked as her fingers brushed his jaw."Once, not long ago, I thought I'd rather die than continue on at the Academy. Then I realized that nothing they did to me could be worse than wanting death. It gave me a new outlook on life." I never knew they were so cruel." A shiver raced through her."You're cold," Jer said. "We'd better head back."Barbara nodded and slipped under his arm once again. "Do.
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