Phil is the outgoing one while Neal is much quieter and more controlled. It’s nice to be able to enjoy our children and not worry about them very much. It sounds like an ideal family, doesn’t it? An attractive wife, two well-behaved sons, a house in the suburbs, and a great job. Most people would be content with that. I wish I were content. In the last two years Carla has not been the happy homemaker she once was. At first I thought she might be anticipating both boys being gone and her being alone. When I talked to her about my observations, she steadfastly denied there was any problem. We discussed moving to a newer home. We’d been living in our current three bedroom split-level for eleven years at maybe it was time for a change. At first she was interested, then talked herself out of it when she thought of all the work and confusion involved in a move. Alternatively, I suggested some home renovations to upgrade our current home. No, that would just make a big mess. Plus, after. It was chilly for mid-March, with the temperature hovering around freezing. It had been a fairly cold winter, though without a lot of snow. The girls walked on either side of me, and the three of us held hands, taking up the entire sidewalk.When we arrived back at the house, after walking for nearly an hour, we decided to head to the sauna to warm up. Once again, the girls sat a bit away from me, and we sat quietly. I always preferred that, since I used the sauna to relax and recharge, and also as a way to help clear my mind, and refocus. My conversations with Kara and Stephanie had given me a lot to think about, and, despite the complications, I felt that things were slowly falling into place.My life was like a jigsaw puzzle, but I didn’t know what the picture was. I had a huge jumble of pieces to put together, and each one added a bit of clarity to the overall image, but I still had no clues as to what the image was. What life held for me was still unknown, but I knew that if I.
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