.Well before twenty to eleven I've made it abundantly clear that I'm notgoing to allow any extra drinking-up time. The regulars know better thanto argue the toss if they can see I'm 'in one', and when the marginallytaller of the Sewell brothers - Peter or Steve, I can never remember whichis which - lopes back into the bar it isn't to ask me out for the thirdWednesday in a row but to fetch the box of matches he'd left on the table.And to round off a perfect day?Here comes J G Egerton, runaway winner of the Upper Class Twat Of The Yearaward. Looking more sheepish than an Australian shearing station, hewatches his fianc?e flounce upstairs, then slinks towards the counter. Ifinish collecting the empties before I acknowledge his arrival with acursory nod of the head."Busy?" he enquires, his haughty gaze following my every movement."Par for the course." Couldn't turn in without apologising for this morning's hoo-ha. Sufficeit to say 'twill not happen again." Forget it," I tell him. "Ancient. I had just come off duty, being the low man on the pole at the station. A day spent driving around in a patrol car in this small town was mind-numbing and ass-crushing, and all I wanted to do was take a long, hot shower and then relax in front of the TV and watch some football.I came in the back door and ran into Eileen. The girl I remembered from four years ago as being all elbows and knees had matured into a very attractive female, and I was caught quite short by the view I was presented with. She was bent over, looking in the icebox for a beer when I walked in. I let my briefcase hit the kitchen table, and she looked over in surprise."Oh," she said casually, "hi, pig." I slapped her on the ass with my gloves as I walked past. "Better watch it, bitch, or I'll arrest you." Yeah?" she sneered. "For what?" Mopery in the first degree." She was a math major, smart as well as pretty, and she looked like she wanted to ask what mopery was. Thinking better of it, she shrugged and return to.
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