’ He gave her one more smile and left the room, and Jenny turned her attention to the computer. She checked her emails, went to a few message boards, all the usual things she did every day. Then, she went slightly nervous. Her hands shook as she went to a search engine and, having made sure that absolutely nobody could see what she was doing, typed in a few words in search for a porn site. The images popping up on the screen didn’t really satisfy her. There were a few couples making out, a ton of naked women – as if she didn’t know how those looked – but no men actually masturbating, or even a closeup of a penis…. cock. She swallowed, realizing the word ‘penis’ didn’t seem to exist on these sites. It was always just ‘cock’. Finally, she found a few images of men with their cocks in hand, and she studied them fascinated. Had Kevin looked like this on his bed? She tried to imagine him, with lights on, stroking up and down his…cock… She still had trouble using the word, even in her. »When Mamá used to tell her of the Gods’ attendance at her birth, of the original set of gifts they had bestowed upon Mamá’s “Child of Destiny”, she always said that the gift of Aphrodite had been “great compassion and beauty”. «But isn’t she the goddess of beauty ... and love? ... Sexual love? And yet if these dreams were sent to teach me about love, then they are strange lessons indeed. They were nothing like my imaginings about romance. But what would I know about that? To live as an Amazon is to live a life devoid of romance. Ha! Unless you’re a lesbian!»Even counting her brief entanglement with Simon, she could only measure her total romantic experience with men in terms of hours.But how could these dreams be lessons about love? In spite of her dream yearnings for her cruel “Lord”, he had made it abundantly clear that he despised her “love”. Strange, harsh lessons, if lessons they were at all. «Is Aphrodite trying to teach me that love is cruel? That there is a purpose in.
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