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“How about we call him, Loud Shit-face, hmmm?” The class went wild.The rest of the hour went about as well.“Before we leave, remember, if you tell anyone your Sunday school names, you’ll never be taught by this Stupid, White Cunt again.”I gave myself a twenty percent chance of surviving until next week. By surviving, I meant not getting knifed in my sleep. Somehow, I considered the possibility of a miracle, I continued to lecture the Sunday school kids for over a year. Sample themes:How Jesus Brought Whores to God.Blessed are the Persecuted for They will Fuck you in the EndPokemon May Not Have Souls, but They Do Have Cunts and Assholes.How God Cuckolded Joseph and Raped His Son into Mary.Steven Universe is God’s Way of Humbling False Goddesses, with Boy Cock.James Brown is actually the Trinity of Soul.My favorite will always be, “Mary’s Breast, Brown and Sucked Eternal.” It went something like this.When Jesus was dying on the cross, Mary, Mother of God, kneeled before her son and. But then she quickly hesitated and stopped. Any other time, he would think perhaps it was because they had to "hide" their feelings. But this time, her smile told the story. By opening her mouth, she exposed the fact that she had obviously visited an orthodontist since he last saw her. Braces! The way she closed her mouth made it obvious she was uncomfortable. But in his mind, this only made her that much more attractive. For whatever reason, he had always been attracted to the girls with braces. This was such a gift!After closing her mouth, a smile still remained. Perhaps it did not show her braces, but it showed him she was also very excited they were together again. She walked straight to him and opened her arms for a hug. In reality it was probably only two seconds between the time she first opened her arms and when they first touched. But in his mind, there was an eternity of confused and nervous thoughts. Should I hug her? If I do, will everyone know what I'm thinking? How long.
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