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‘Fuck me,’ I say to myself, ‘it won’t start.’ I get out of the car, slamming the door behind me. Hopefully I can find someone willing to give me a jump. Luckily I’m used to it and can have it done in about thirty seconds. I start to walk back into the gym and find someone. As I approach the door one of the guys who I had been watching walks out. He looks at me as I walk past, not saying a word. ‘Um, excuse me,’ I say tentatively. He stops and doesn’t even turn around. ‘What?’ ‘Um, well, my car isn’t working, do you think you could maybe give me a jump?’ ‘Do you have cables?’ he asks, still not turning around. ‘Yeah, yeah I do, and I can get it done real fast, thank you so much.’ ‘Where are you parked?’ ‘I’m over there, the red Corolla.’ Without turning around he walks over to his big truck and climbs in. I have no idea if he is going to help me or not, but it looks like he is turning towards where I’m parked. I head over to my car and pull the cables out of the trunk as he pulls. "Your comments are noted. In fact, we have not capacity-mapped all six billion humans on your planet. Frankly, your species is neither that interesting nor that diverse. We need to induce enough change in your collective behaviour to prevent you engendering a massive ecological meltdown; the planet is controlled by a 'western' elite, who therefore have greatest influence; therefore we concentrated on them. The logic has been analysed in depth and found appropriate."Great", muttered Xav, "omnipotent and racist too..."I decided to be more constructive. "Aside from the obvious point that elites never give up power — that change comes from below — and that, in this case, the elites are likely to be the last to directly impacted by the changes we're trying to prevent — don't you think you're limiting your selection criteria on a slightly arbitrary basis?" Perhaps. We are, however, trying to supervise ... influence ... promote constructive change here, the necessary minimum to avoid.
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