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How do you embarrass an archaeologist?Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it comes from.I took a poop in the elevator. I’m taking this shit to a whole new level.What do you call a deaf gynecologist?A lip reader.What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?Beef strokin’ off.Why do vegans give better head?They’re used to eating nuts.I’m not sure how I feel about masturbation...On the one hand, it’s pretty great.A man goes to the doctor and says “I’ve got a problem, I have 5 penises.”He replies, “Like a glove.”How did you quit smoking?I decided to start smoking only after sex.How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?He forgot to wrap his Whopper.How is sex like a game of bridge?With a great hand, you don’t even need a partner.What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?A cherry float.What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control?A trip without kids.I hope Death is a woman.That way it will never come for me.What is a Jewish person’s first discount?10% off the. You know I think of that as cheating,” she said, looking me square in the eye for a full five seconds before she continued.“You know what is strange?” she asked rhetorically. “It is really strange that I consider it cheating when you masturbate while watching people have sex in a movie, yet you don’t think of it as cheating if I actually have sex with someone else.”“Only if I know about it. And watch,” I replied cautiously.“Whatever. Still, our opinions are vastly different,” she said as she stood up. “Vastly different.”“Would you like another drink?” she asked, “I think I need a double, I need to wrap my mind around this.”“Yes please," I answered quietly.I heard her mixing the drinks in the kitchen and wondered where this conversation was going. Was I going to get my fantasy of watching her fuck another man? Was she going to tell me that our marital views are incompatible, and we need to separate? I wasn’t sure how to interpret her words and her expression.Amy returned with our.
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