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Luckily, again I missed having a terrible mess. The large oval plate was set down between my daughter and her boyfriend. My husband complemented my on the meal he hadn't begun yet, while handing me the carving knife and fork, giving me the honours.The three of them were making small talk when I thought I felt the bottom of my skirt move. I froze for a second then returned to cutting the large juicy roast. Softly and gently a warm hand lay on the back of my lower thigh. Joel was touching me. I stopped carving and looked down at the little snot, and had to control myself when he smiled innocently at me - brave since I was still holding a large knife. What should I do? Tell my husband, scream rape, carve up the "turkey"?I went back to the roast and ignored the hand, hoping he would tire and drop it. Besides, it hadn't moved an inch. I knew now would not be a good time to convince my daughter of her boyfriend's devious ways. Later would be better, easier on her, since even I remember the. "Gimme your goddamned gun. I'm gonna kill me a son of a bitch or two. I want to kill me a preacher. Give me your fucking gun, Wilbur, right now."I raised it up in the air out of her eager, pregnant reach and said tenderly, "Let's go make some music, hon." We filed on in and the bikers ran the church nuts off. Then they came in and Moose took the freaked out barmaid aside and calmed her down. That big Moose dude started to lick the beer foam off the barmaid. Brenda looked at what was happening and hurried over to lend a hand, or in this case a tongue. That bar maid must have liked it, because she sure as hell wasn't arguing. She stood quietly and purred like a kitten.We were a little more shook up than we thought and our opening number, an old Tex Ritter piece, was pretty ragged. Homer was clumsy on the guitar and I couldn't find the right note with a magnifying glass.Poor sensitive Emily just threw up her arms in despair and yelled at the crowd, "Is there an idiot in the house? That.
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